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Raising a Grandchild

February 16th, 2007 at 12:44 pm

It's amzing at how life can change instantly. One minute I am planning my $10,000 emergency fund and the next my moment my daughter has left her newborn with us. Post Par-tum depression. Though she is on the road to recovery she is still unable to care for the baby on her own. She also does not want to live at home. Naturally, I love the little angel, he's the best baby anyone could ask for. At 50 though, I am a little down. All my crafts and business plans have been shelved. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to take everything out and get going when the baby needs me so often. I'm having a hard time taking care of the house, the shopping, the cooking and still find any time for a life. The winter has been long and cold and I feel like a shut-in. I don't know where to go from here to put together some sort of life that includes some of my own basic needs. I'm lost without my sewing, dolls that I wanted to sell and beautiful penny rugs. I can't work, it would be just to pay a daycare. Seems pointless. I guess I am going to have to reorganize again and find a way around these new roadblocks. I just wasn't prepared for all of this.....

Posted in Building A Side Income | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Raising a Grandchild”

  1. tinapbeana Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 01:05 pm 1171631115
    1171631115

    wow, i can't even imagine... you know, perhaps you could join a mommy group in your area; lots of churches have them, not to mention secular mommy groups. or even start one. the gist is "moms" and kids get together just to have some people time, but also to meet ladies you trust so you can share child watching duties. say you get set up with a group of 4 other ladies. each of you take a day of the week to watch all 5 of the little ones for say 4 hours. this way, everyone gets 4 days during the week where they can do the things that need to be done sans little one, and one day of the week where they watch all 5 for four hours. obviously this is just an example, you could just find 1 other person and each swap one day per week, etc, but it still might be helpful (and cost free!).

    and when you think about it, snack time for 5 kids on one day should cost about the same as snack time for 1 kid on 5 days, right?

  2. campfrugal Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 01:38 pm 1171633106
    1171633106

    God has put you where he wants you. I think it is an awesome thing that you can be there for your child and grandchild and no-one says you have to give up your dreams. Keep working toward them.

  3. nance Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 02:36 pm 1171636563
    1171636563

    I know it has to be incredibly hard, but that baby is in the right place right now. Your daughter knows she isn't safe for the baby right now.
    In my area there is a support group for grandparents who are rearing their grandkids. You might check to see if your community has a similar group.
    Human Service (Social Services) usually has lists of organizations in the community.
    Do you belong to a church? Maybe some church women would love to spend some time with an infant. Put out the word, and you might be surprised at the assistance you will receive.
    Good luck and try to rest when the baby sleeps. If you get enough sleep, the rest won't look so bad.
    Make sure you daughter is getting the mental health care she needs.

  4. miclason Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 02:46 pm 1171637183
    1171637183

    I second the looking for help for daughter...also looking for help for Granny!...and, just try to remember...postpartum depression doesn't last forever...and tiny babies grow into bigger babies that eat more and sleep for longer periods!!...once your daughter is feeling well again and can take care of her son, you can go back to your life! ((hugs))

  5. crow67 Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 02:51 pm 1171637477
    1171637477

    My mom went through the same thing 30+ yrs ago...we raised my oldest nephew for a few years (thought he was my brother for a time)...it was hard, but she probably saved his life, his home wasn't safe at the time...but I would do as the others have said, find out in your community if there's groups you could join to give you a few hours now and again of rest. My thoughts are with you

  6. Lux Living Frugalis Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 03:01 pm 1171638116
    1171638116

    Oh goodness...God BLESS YOU for being there right now. Keep a notepad handy for ideas for your business and crafts...use your down time to jot down the good ideas that come while you're busy with the baby so you don't lose them.

    Is there another side of the baby's family that could offer a bit of respite? Aunties, cousins, sis-in-laws?

    Can you brainstorm some ideas for keeping your daughter involved with the baby that will help you at the same time? Maybe meet her at McDonald's for lunch and give her time to sit w/& hold the baby for awhile and get you and baby out of isolation? Invite her over for dinner and while she's there you could catch up on laundry, list some crafts on ebay or catch a nap? Twould seem to serve two purposes.

    Good luck Pattie - we are praying for you!

  7. monkeymama Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 04:50 pm 1171644605
    1171644605

    Aw, for your sake I hope is temporary. I know many grandparents raising babies - it has been very hard on them. These were the cases where 1 baby turned into 2 & 3 and the kids are on drugs though. PPD is temporary and manageable and workable. I hope your daughter is feeling better soon, and she is very blessed to have a mother to help out. Hang in there...

  8. KEALINA Says:
    February 16th, 2007 at 09:53 pm 1171662809
    1171662809

    i agree with everybody who urged you to find a group to join that can give you support... you could try a church group or even a social group...
    I hope your daughter gets better soon and i agree that it's a good thing you are still relatively young (my mom will be over 65 by the time i plan to have a baby) and able to take care of the baby...

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